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Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything. Just get us on the ground! That part will happen pretty definitely! I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you. Yes sir, Captain Tightpants! How did your brain even learn human speech? Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.
I’m afraid I just blue myself. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you.
I have always held, too, that pistol practice should be distinctly an open-air pastime; and when Holmes, in one of his queer humours, would sit in an armchair with his hair-trigger and a hundred Boxer cartridges and proceed to adorn the opposite wall with a patriotic V.R. done in bullet pocks, I felt strongly that neither the atmosphere nor the appearance of our room was improved by it. Show Holmes a drop of water and he would deduce the existence of the Atlantic. Show it to me and I would look for a tap. That was the difference between us. I must apologize for calling so late, and I must further beg you to be so unconventional as to allow me to leave your house presently by scrambling over your back garden wall. You will not apply my precept. How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? We know that he did not come through the door, the window, or the chimney. We also know that he could not have been concealed in the room, as there is no concealment possible. When, then, did he come? Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come! You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius. Man, or at least criminal man, has lost all enterprise and originality. As to my own little practice, it seems to be degenerating into an agency for recovering lost lead pencils and giving advice to young ladies from boarding-schools.